


Decision

by Malory2



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-10-23
Packaged: 2018-04-27 18:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5059204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malory2/pseuds/Malory2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clark Kent has to make a decision about whether he wants to take their relationship to a new level, or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Decision

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, and originally I intended to keep it short. Well, this is what it became. :) Also, English isn't my first language, so sorry for my mistakes, and if you find something grammatically really wrong, please let me know. I'm aware that I can't really use the tenses. :( Comments and critics are welcome. Thank you for reading!

The see of sunflowers gently swayed in the morning breeze, as the dawning sun illuminated the peaceful scenery. A man stood in the field, surrounded by the yellow flowers as a rock stooding against the waves of the deep blue ocean. The wild animals were already awake, and started they daily fight of survival. The mice between the sunflowers, the birds up, up in the blue sky.... The man consciousness fought against his heart. He came here, he came home in hope that he could calm the storm in his soul. But it was useless. Despite the closeness to the nature, the places filled with childhood memories or his parents warm smile, he still could not make up his mind.

 

_After some hesitation, he picked up the phone._

_"Hello?" after two seconds a warm voice answered the call. A voice of a mother._

_"Hi Ma, how are you?"_

_"Oh dear, it's been a long time!  It's so good to hear your voice. We're fine, the cows..."-he listened to his mother's calming voice as she talked about their everyday life at the farm. -" But I'm sure you didn't call to hear about Sarah's cat. Did something happen? Are you all right?"_

_"Yeah, I'm fine."-he tried to sound like that, but he knew that her mother wasn’t fooled. She raised him, she was familiar with his expressions,  the tone of his voice. " I got some vacation days from my boss " - more like he forced and threatened for it, really - "and I was thinking of going home for a while."_

_There was a brief silence at the other side of the line._

_"We're really happy to see you, and you can come home at any time. How long will you stay?"_

_He closed his eyes. Yeah, her mother knew the truth, but didn't ask. That was exactly what he needed. Some time and space to think. To decide._

_"Well, I was thinking ..."_

 

He was in love. It was that simple, that easy. He was in love with another man. But that was not a problem. His parents wouldn't mind, as long as he was happy. Well, yes they won't be accepted by society, but all the good they did, all the people they saved... it would make up for it. And anyway, they were experts at keeping secrets. One more to keep, what would it matter? They lived their life in the web of lies. But this... this would be something real and precious, tucked away in a corner of their life, bringing light into the darkness they always fought against. Like a diamond in the mids of cheap glass marbles.

The man was his colleague, someone he trusted and respected. They defeated evil and saved worlds countless time together. They were comrades, friends and partners, he was an irreplaceable existence in his life.

 

_The sound of the battle grow louder and became more intense. The sky was dyed black by the smoke from the burning bodies of the invading aliens. It was a small planet far from their beloved Earth. They picked up an S.O.S. signal while going to an intergalactic meeting, so they stopped to help the inhabitants. They were a peaceful and prospering civilisation, and the base of their richness was a rare mineral. It had a pale purple light, and give infinite energy - which they used to create objects from thin air. They lived in peace for millenniums, and when they got attacked for their treasure, didn't know how to defend themselves. That's why the little group decided to help._

_The attackers was tall - their hight almost amounted to two persons -  and had dark blue skin, spotted with white polka dots. They looked like big, sickly cucumbers - or maybe that was just the farm boy talking in him. But despite they strange look, - that looked like it was stolen from a morning health-educational kid's show - , the skin of this species produced a deadly poison. It created a foul looking and smelling slime covering their bodies. But in contact with air, it became a kind of gas, which slowly took away their enemies' consciousness, and shot down they living functions._

_The members of the Justice League were in a disadvantage. They couldn't defend against the poison. Green Lantern's ring was protecting them, but it was not possible to keep this up forever. Even thought he was more resistant against it that the others, he could still feel his consciousness slipping away. With Herculean effort he tried to stay awake, but it started to become helpless... Until he noticed that somebody was missing. His heart almost stopped, panic ran trough his body and mind. It was possible that he couldn't see his comrade's black cape in the swirling black chaos, so there was no need to overreact. He knew that his friend was strong and independent, still, he couldn't keep the worry from his mind. For a moment, he let himself be overwhelmed by panic, but then pulled himself together. After calming some, he saw that the ring's protection was gone. He instantly tried to fly over to help his fallen friend- who was gasping for air surrounded by the clouds of poison and swarm of aliens - but then he could feel a slippery hand grabbing his leg. He felt the prison slowly seep through his pores. He used his heat vision to fend off the enemy, but his body started to give up the fight against the accumulated substance within._

 

_Suddenly a gentle breeze touched his skin. Then slowly it got stronger and stronger, until it transformed into a tornado. He dug his fingers to the ground to stay in place. After a quick glance around, he saw that all of his comrades grabbed something - expect Flash, who was running against the wind, thus practically staying in the same place. The wind cleared up the poison, and got all the aliens into one big ball of bodies and legs. With a loud noise, a helicopter - where the hell did they get a helicopter here!? - got above them, and sprayed some white, sparkling liquid all over the place. He and the other group members also got drenched by it, and he belatedly noted that it was the antidote. The others were staggering to their feet along with the people of the planet. Some of them jumped out from the copter and started to bound the invaders. He looked up and felt his spirit lift. He smiled, and his smile was just like the sun, warm and bright._

_Among the crew of the helicopter, there was his missing friend. It was easy to see that he was in complete control of the situation. He was swiftly giving orders to the others, and taking care of the aftermath of the battle. The wind from the rotors of the copter tugged on his black cape. Even from this distance, he felt when his eyes met. There was a slight annoyance in the other man’s eyes. " What are you standing there for? Get your ass here, and do something." Well, it was topical of him, getting everybody into order, when they just escaped from the Gate of Death. He could feel laughter in his throat. He flashed a wide smile - the annoyance changed to threatening - and pushed himself off the ground, flying to his partner's side._

And that was just one of the times when he saved them. There were times that his partner saved him, and when he was saved in turn. They could always count on each other, and that was something he didn't want to lose. This understanding between them, often without words, could shudder and break, changing into awkwardness. He knew that regardless of his decision, he would have to advance with great care, like taming a wild animal. His friend was smart, and it's true that at first glance he appeared to be free of human emotions, but if you got to know him, you could see that he was a man with great sensitivity and caring for others. He carried unhealing scars within him, he lost and saw more than most people in their whole life. He was like a wild kitten, really. Once you got him to open up to you, that is.

He knew that his feelings were being reciprocated. He could sense it in the other men's behaviour. Slideway glances, slight touches, he could hear the quickening heartbeat.

 

_That day both of them was alone on monitor duty. He usually made sure that they weren't alone, but of course he couldn't avoid it forever. It was a silent night, there wasn't any emergency, for once the World appeared to be at peace. They sat in silence. It wasn't the awkward kind, it was filled with contentment and understanding._

_"Would you like some coffee?" He asked. His partner glanced at him, and nodded. He got up, and prepared the late-night drink according to the other's taste, and went back to the monitoring room. When he entered, he could smell something sweet. After he recognised it, he smiled to himself. It was his favourite cookie. His silent, black angel got some of them - breaking his rules with it. He put down the coffee in front of the other man, and sit down._

_"Thank you." His partner looked away, trying to hide his embarrassment, and simply nodded., sipping from his drink._

_"Thank you too." Said the other after a moment of pause. " How are your parents?" Usually the black caped crusader weren't the one to chitchat, but with him, he always made an expection. They talked a bit about their daily life, with and without the costumes, lightheartedly._

_"I couldn't save her."  there was pain and regret in his voice, suddenly changing the atmosphere. “I was there, but I couldn't. It happened too fast, I couldn't react... Maybe if ..." He got quiet. He never said things like that. Admitting vulnerability, or that he wasn't the perfect guardian he ought to be was out of the question. But sometimes the burden became too heavy for one person to carry. It wear him down. " Maybe if I had your super speed, I could have saved her, done something." He understood that feeling, the feeling that no matter how powerful or strong you were, you weren't God. You weren't almighty or all knowing. At the end of the day, you were only human - or alien, in his case - and you had your boundaries._

_But because he understood, he didn't say anything. Simply stretched out his hand, and grabbed the other man's. He tensed for a moment, then relaxed, leaning into the contact, squeezing back. Then they just sat in the quiet of the surveillance room in a deep connection, offering and accepting the comfort of each other. Two silent guardian watching and praying for a peaceful night for the ones they protected._

Their love was built on respect and mutual understanding as well as years of friendship. He didn't want to lose it. He knew that with the right tactic - with the other man everything was about tactics and plans and counter-plans - he could take their relationship to the next level. He wasn't delusional, he knew that if he didn’'t do something, they will remain friends forever. He wanted something more, something wholesome, but... He couldn't make the decision to break the delicate balance.

"That's bullshit, and you know it" he muttered to himself. The most important reason for his hesitation was a small talk the two of them had at a little cake shop years ago.

 

_It was a rare occasion, they met without they masks, just two friend spending some time together. The other man was talking about a young orphan acrobat he recently adopted. It was a surprise for everyone that the grumpy detective decided to accept a young kid into his home - into his life - and since then every time the topic came up, he was full of complaints. For an outsider it could have sounded like a failed experiment, or like he couldn't tame a wild kitten._

_He absent-mindedly took a bite from his cake. Yes, to an outsider. But he saw the little signs: a half smile while talking about the kid always dancing and doing acrobatic moves; a proud gleam in his eyes while grumpily explaining how he snatched some equipment and demanded to go on patrol with him._

_"You really like kids, don't you." He muttered under his breath. The other  frowned, obviously startled by the observation._

_"I wouldn't say like per se..." He started, then cut himself off, and relaxed. His chin rested in his hands, he looked around. The place was full of happy families, who decided to spend this afternoon together. The other scanned them for a moment, then looked back into his conversation partner's eyes, sapphire meeting the blue skies._

_"It's more than I want to protect them. To give them a peaceful life, where they don't have to be afraid from the monsters who disguise themselves as humans. I'm sure that you understand this, Mr. Goody-two-shoes." - There was a slight mocking in his voice._

_"Yeah, kids are wonderful. Do you want some, if you get married?" There was a long pause in their conversation._

_" I don't think I ever get married. This life is too heavy, I can't drag another person into it."  He said it nonchalantly, with determination. " Well, of course who knows what the future holds." He shrugged, cast a meaningful glance at him and took a bite from his cake._

 

Family. Children. That was something the other man greatly desired, but he was not able to give him. He wanted his lover to be happy. But can he be happy, if he had to sacrifice his deepest wish?

The other reason was... well, that he was a coward. He's alien heritage was a mystery to him. Will he age? Will he die? He wanted to grow old together with his loved one, to experience all the happy and sad things with him. But maybe this wasn’t possible. He was afraid of watching the important people in his life getting old and die. He simply didn’t want to see it, to feel this pain. Sooner or later they woud be separated. He didn’t want the painful memories. It’s better to have nothing, rather than losing everything.

 

He loked up at the sky, and made his decision. Then turned around and went back to the house. To his normal, everyday life.

 

-

 

It was a dark, stormy day. The wind grabbed his cape, twisted it around and strongly tugged at it, like a child trying to get her father’s attention. Lighntning illuminated the skies and the wasteland that stretched before him. There was nothing there, not sunflowers nor wild animals. You couldn’t see the old farm in the distance. Not anymore. The Earth that once thrived with life was nothing more than a dying planet. It was milleniums ago that he last came here. That time, it was to make a decision. Now it was to say goodby to the planet taking it’s last breath. Humans long abandoned her, taking everything they could with them, leaving only a tired Mother and an empty name behind. “Superman”. There was a time when this name meant hope, light and salvation. But the memories of humaity grow old and distinct, and now it was nothing more than a reminder of their past. A past they wanted to forget. So they left. Everybody went away. Only memories remained with him.

 

_He will never forget the day. The day Bruce Wayne announced to the people of Gotham his engagement. The news was full of it, like he was some royalty. Well, in a way he was._

_They sit at their favourit cake shop, where they had a conversation about a young boy years ago. He since left behind his mask and Gotham, finding his own home and identity. He looked bitterly at his cake, and wished things were that easy again._

_“Are you really getting married?” He asked timidly. The other frowned, and looked at him._

_“Yeah, I can’t really get out of this. I mean, she said that I either marry her or….” He continued to grumble under his nose, angrily stabbing at his cake. Yeah, he was pushed into it. It was obvious. He didn’t want it. Then it’s a good friends duty to… He forced himself to stop. Who was he kidding? It was clear that his friend was in love, and happy. Under all the complaints, their was certainity and trust, like a rock you could build a house. A life._

_Suddenly he felt the touch of the other man’s hand. Electrocity ran up from the contact into his brain._

_“Are you listening?”_

_“To your constant boast about your happiness? No, sorry.” He said. The other sighed._

_“No, I asked if you would be my best man at the wedding” He choked then looked away. “I know it’s a big thing to ask” the other went on seemingly unfrased “but I want you to be there.” There was a long pause. “I know its cruel. I know.” He said silently. They locked eyes for a moment, years of unspoken emotions between them. But now only one burned with silent passion, with hidden flames. The other met it with ghosts, the memory of the heat of a long burned fire. Then the moment was gone._

_“Of cours. It will be an honour.”_

_They silently finished their cake, and then went to their separate ways._

 

The wedding was beatufil, and clearly one of the happiest day of his friend’s life. You didn’t have to know him to see the contentment on his face. To him, it was a complicated situation. He was happy, and still, he could feel his gut twist every time he meet with her. She was a gorgeus woman. She was calm, and accepted everything about her husband, never telling him to stop, always being there for him. To offer comfort and solace. Something he could never do. And she new it. She new the secrets kept behind stealed glances and whispered words. Still, despite everything, he was never unwanted at the Manor. Sometimes they sit together, sharing stories and memories with each other, waiting for the man they loved.

 

_He could still hear the ecxited voice, full of wonder and disbelief._

_“I’m a father.” He mumbled, holding the little life in his hand. Then he looked at his wife, who was still exhausted from giving birth, and gently caressed her cheek. They finally became a real family. This was the second happiest day in his life. He didn’t need his supersenses to know he wasn’t welcome there. They just came back from battle, and he brought him here, granting his deepest and longest wish. To be there when his child was born. He started to turn around, he could not bear to see his freind’s unmasked happines, as he held the little one in his hand, lost in the beauty of a new life. He felt the woman’s gaze on him, and looked at her. He saw the happines and the wonder in her eyes. He wanted to look away, when he noticed something under it: hurt, understanding and a kind of comeradie.That was the moment when he knew he made the right decision._

 

After the first, they had three other children. He never stopped being the Dark Knight, but always made sure that his family was safe.He trained his children, who take up his legacy, and continued the family business.

Then his biggest fear came true: they couldn’t escape from the sand of time. First, it took away his speed, the his strenght. At the end, it took away his life.

 

_He sit lifelessly in the kitchen of the Manor. It was a clear, sunny day, totally unfit to the funeral that had just took place. Neither of them cried. She arranged the ceremony, and took care of everything. She didn’t look sad, while comforting her children and grandchildren and accepting the condolences from friends and the remaining members of the League. Only he could see the sadness in her eyes._

_He tought he would feel rage, griefe and sadness beyond words, but there was nothing. Nothing just silence and emptiness, that echoed trought wasted years and unspoken words. A hand placed a mug in front of him, then somebody sit down to the other chair. They sit in silence, never uttering a word. They didn’t need to. Then she placed a little book in front of him, and went back to their children, leaving him alone._

_After some time - minutes, hours, days or maybe years, who knows? - he started to read the book. It was a diary. A memento for all the years he left him, and refused to see him. He tore himself out of their life, abandoning them. He couldn’t stay by his side, to watch him slowly being aten away by the iron teeth of time. But the other knew him, and so left behind a piece of himself just for him. For his friend. He closed the book, and waited for the sadness to arrive. But it never did._

 

After that, they stayed in contact. He often came to visit her, to share stories and pass time together. When her end was near, he took her to places, where she shared his memories about her husband, losing herself in a world full of life and laughter. One time, after he took her home, she looked at her, her eyes closed and unreadable, and said to him to read the last page of the diray. Made him promise it, then sent him away. When she died, her last words hurt him more than anything: “I’m sorry.”

 

Since then, he buried countless friends and allies. He watched their children grow up, give life the new light, and then slowly wither away. Until there wasn’t anyone who new him. Today was the day everybody went away, and he let them go.

He looked at the little grave at his foot. The originals since long turned to dust. This one was no more than a thousand years old. Nature already made her work: sand honed, rain drenched it, but there was no new life, no flowers claiming it their home. He then took the diary out of his pocket, and looked at it. Technology allowed him to keep it impact, this little connection to himself. He had never read the last page. Now he opened it, and fullfilled that promise from long ago. Then just stared at it, feeling like the words were in an alien language, carrying a meaning long forgotten.

 

A lightning striked near him, illuminating the barren wasteland, and the lone figure standing in the middle of it. He closed the book, and lay down onto the ground. He didn’t feel the terrible wind or the ice-like raindrops. Instead he felt the long gone sun on his skin, he could hear his comrades and friends happy chatter in the distance. He felt a hand - a long gone, the first gone - touch his face, gently spreading warmness and electricity trough his body.

 

He heard the voice of his love, talking to him. He closed his eyes.

 

_“Thank you. You made me happy.”_

 

Clark Kent smiled.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Soo.. this is it. When I wrote it, I really wanted to read something heart-wrenching, and this was the result. I hope was able to convey the relationship between the three of them to You. Of course, Bruce really loved both Clark and his wife, the some way they loved him, but the wife had more courage. Or at least a different kind. I didn't want to make Clark hate her, or vice versa, I prefer this kind of silent understanding, I think it's beautiful (although not very realistic.) I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
